Monday, August 03, 2009

It all started like any other morning . Joe returned to his desk after a hot cup of decaf. He had the usual lousy morning, a tussle with wife at home, marathon run towards the train station in the cold rain . And an early morning meeting with his boss Larry . " A week is all what we got , actually 6 days. They need it by this saturday night !!" . "This saturday night? Dude arent we not talking about an universe here? " .
Larry : "Ok , so how much time ? "
Joe : " I really need a couple of weeks with unit test".
Larry : " We can fix the bugs later, i just need a prototype by saturday evening, we can put in features late , I already commited. "

Joe: "Lets talk about the requirements more clearly ?"
Larry : "Well the usual. Set of people , life , space time , evolving stuff "

Joe :" hmm..can i use python ? "
Larry : "Whatever..we dont really care about performance here".
Larry " I am sure you love this job !! you get to play God !!"

Joe wasnt particularly thrilled about being God. He really didnt care. He really didnt care a lot for the people in the universe he created. Not that he was mean or anything . He was really sincere about his work and he did a great job to maintain it too. But as a creater , you really dont care. Most of the prayers and stuff are automated. And served on the basis of a random number generator. And a framework is in place to make sure that ignoring prayers didnt really matter. Enough religious stuff about prayers and faith is part of the whole deal .

Joe has done this before. He has a model which he tweeks often to create universe. Throw in a lot of parameters, do a lot of feasiblity tests, and test for a couple of weeks, you are good to go. "i shall use gravity as a primal force this time. I love things and people falling down". Joe had to make sure that he obfuscates the code so that people dont find out the secrets of creation. At the same time, he had to expose enough so that scientists have fun. So he put the obfuscated quantum logic in the center and easy gravity stuff for long distances. The deal is that ultimately there is nothing to know, all the pain and lack of fun is supposedly fun . Anyways Joe didnt care a lot for the people but more about doing the right job.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Is the night here yet ?

Enough is enough . I need to get out of this prison once for all, to be done with all the suffering. Enough of theories and consolations. The pain is unbearable. Time to leave. I believe in my theory so much as i want to die to to it prove it right even posthumously . Who is complaining ? Who is crying ? Who am i ? What the heck is this mind ? Life flows between these opposites. Hope and despair . Let it all go !! It is amazing that after seeing myself in everyone and everything, the sorrow and obsession and the individuality still must be able to continue !! Let it go !! I want to fly forever in a sky with no boundaries !! And there i create my shackles on my feet again !! Enough of this dance of life . I want to rest in thy arms once and for all. Time to dissolve in the peace of myself and sleep in my own arms forever..with all the coziness and comfort and being rocked to back to sleep for eternity with all the love !! Oh Lord, when will my neediness stop ? Gratitude for all the love ever. With tears of pain, love , contentment and completeness.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Buddha and the backpacker

Monday, December 22, 2008

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Spiritual Tree Hugging Self-Knower

Thursday, May 15, 2008

joy of life !!

This happened too spontaneously...before i loose this clarity , i need to jot this down...

the joy of being completely opening yourself to the world is tremendously beautiful. Living with no agenda, with no expectations. Just being there for people and handling situations completely as for the moment.. , with no expectation to receive anything.....but just to beautiful and fulfililing that is .

it takes tremendous courage and faith to be like is a free roller coaster ride of no resistance....the rewards..( there you go the agenda is back...looking for rewards...) ..ok not rewards...the results happen to be complete liberation..and joy ....exactly when you did not care about it...

how profound and beautiful is this world design !! selflessly so as to be happy !! isnt that a contradiction..forget every thing and live selflessly..the happiness follows you .happiness happens exactly when you dont look for it !!

in gratefulness of every moment i got a chance to serve..and make a little difference to someone..

my love to the whole world...every soul..every atom....


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

self obsession :)

Krishna incarnated as chaitanya mahaprabhu so that love of krishna could be imparted to people. Gosh, isn't that the height of self obsession ? When Krishna was asked to comment, it seems he causally remarked "yeah it happens when the whole universe is sort of me alone.....also i was a bit bored" .


Clarity !!

From time immemorial , the great grand old debate has been happening with the philosophers ..Is the supreme truth impersonal or personal ? Is God personal or impersonal? Though Advaita acharya Shankara himself had put an end to this by exhorting to chant the holy name of Govinda to the seekers for self realization and Krishna asserted in Gita that "I am the Brahman", and Ramana clarified that there is no difference between love and knowledge, the followers continued arguing with each other. Even today you see facebook groups like this where you have vehement arguments.

Personally i have been going through this too as well in my search of truth . A conflict between Shiva and krishna, between the impersonal and personal, Ramana and Chaitanya, the grandeur of the non duality vs the melting love of krishna. And my Guru is too smart and least bothered about any intellectual and philosophical issues ( enlightenment has its own issues you see :) ). Anyways, maybe thanks to His Grace, finally it all came to end for me this weekend and the clarity dawned. I have been a regular visitor at the Ramana maharshi temple and have experienced deep rest and peace in the company of truth in the Advaita discourses. And this weekend i happened to visit the Krishna temple and experienced this ecstatic devotion and love. And finally , the resolve is this : With all things being equal, Krishna wins hands down for me with such amazingly tasty food at the temple . ( Well Ramana temple didnt even have food )...Well now thats whats I call clarity !!


Monday, February 18, 2008


Every time i become a victim of my feelings and acting unconsciously i am being a product of my karma. According to my wisdom and the need of the hour, i intent on doing something. But i am not able to do it because i just don't feel like it or do something else unplanned unconsciously . This is stupidity and falling under the weight of karma. And this is a vicious circle, as more you fall under the grip of karma, the denser the karma becomes. On the other hand, you can cut the karma with your awareness. You become aware of the feeling , but fight it back according to your will. And the more you exercise your will the more willpower you get. And this independent will, the purushartha is the sword to cut your karma. The daily life is a great opportunity to slowly realize that the only problem to fight is your own mind and attitudes. And there is no problem "out there". We can always choose to act according to our inner wisdom. The more we exercise our will, the more our circle of influence becomes and the more powerful we become. Hence it is important to be watchful of our negative tendencies. And when we see something negative in us, there is nothing to feel bad but we have all the reasons to feel happy , because we get an opportunity to remove it . The fact that the the only kurukshetra to be fought is within gives us such tremendous freedom. We are responsible for our own freedom and happiness and not factors outside. The more we smartly deal with our negativities with our awareness and independent will the more powerful we become. And the whole journey is being watchful and being peaceful during the whole road, constantly fighting the battle within and at the same time being peaceful knowing that all is .

loads of love ...